I like to think that I have a little of an adventurous side. I've engaged in my share of 'extreme' sports in the past i.e. cooking with gas, watching the X-games highlights on Youtube, riding my bike with no hands, etcetera. Thus, it is with great shame that I announce how I became the not-so-proud recipient of these beauties. Any guesses anyone? Nope, I was not walking on, walking on broken glass (cue: Annie Lennox), although I did do that at a glass museum a little while back. No, I was not playing that ridiculous boy scout game where you have to stand still while your 'friend' throws a knife as close to your feet as possible. Swimming. Not ocean swimming getting bitten by ferocious sharks swimming. Nope. Swimming in a tranquil indoor pool swimming. Supposedly, on the day I decided to visit the pool, they released a flock, herd, swarm, or whatever of flesh-eating piranhas to increase the excitement. As if sharing a lane with 13 other people isn't thrilling enough. C'mon!
One of the lifeguards followed my bloody footprints to my resting place along with almost every other person swimming at the pool that night. I guess the red water, blood-stained poolside, and foreigner combination was too much to ignore. Luckily, two of the three hundred thirteen people surrounding me spoke English and graciously offered to take me to the hospital.
En route via Taxi we just so happened to slam into a scooter driver in the middle of a busy intersection. I was only paying enough attention to see his body flailing through the air into some nearby bushes. Isn't the timing of life's events hilarious sometimes? By law, our taxi was required to remain where it was for police investigation. Mr. Scooter Driver regained consciousness and shortly thereafter an ambulance arrived to whisk him away. Meanwhile, buses, scooters and cars were weaving their way around our damaged taxi with the bloody-foot man (me) in the back waiting anxiously for his ride (a substitute taxi) to take him, too.
A few shots, a little sewing and four U.S. dollars later (Hooray cheap medical care!!!!), my hospital adventure was over.
Is it wrong for me to still be laughing at the fact that we hit Mr. Scooter Driver?*
*No, it's not wrong, because you know you would be doing the exact same thing.
Curse that pirhanna! Maybe you should've bit it back. According to popular belief, if you bite a dog's ear it will obey you from then on. I feel it is my personal mission to tell everyone that popular belief is wrong! Misty's ear tasted like a big chunk of poopy and she still doesn't do a dang thing I say! Perhaps it works with Tiawanneese pirhannas.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have much luck in pools do ya. Remember when you dove into my Achilles heel and broke me into a thousand pieces? Actually, your eye just puffed up to the size of a small gourd. Good times, good times.
Aren't pedestrians just the most annoying things in the world? I know I'm an annoying ped. Also, it doesn't help that I stop traffic with my dashing good looks. Woopsies, I just remembered he was on a scooter. LOL! You hit a man on a scooter. That's almost like hitting Baby Bop on a tricycle.
If I lived in Tiewan I would run right in front of taxis just so that I could ride in that awesome ambulance! It's a very decked out vehicle. This is how I imagine the phonecall after the accident(btwn. the operator and the taxi driver) Driver: "Hello? 119? I just hit a dummy on a scooter and there's a dummy in my taxi. He claims he got bit by a pirhanna in a public pool and he's bleeding everywhere." Operator: "Real funny. That never happens. K bi."
Basically I couldn't think of a witty comment or funny thing the operator could say, so I'll end now and go into hiding. Peath Out.
not sure what was better - your story or wade's comments lol. that would happen to you Dane haha what a story!
ReplyDeleteI wanted our Jr. Prom theme to be "Walkin' on Broken Glass" the decor could be...you guessed it, broken glass! It would have saved us lots of money. Now you know why I wasn't prom queen.
ReplyDeleteDid you really to that at a normal pool and if so, how the heck did it happen?!
yes, it did happen at a normal pool...well almost normal...I really have shared a lane with 13 people before...that's abnormal as far as i'm concerned, but in a country that lacks any sort of space, it's normal, I guess.
ReplyDeleteIt happened when I pushed off the wall and a piece of sharp linoleum (that's what they said it was...I never saw it) sliced me open. It was great! I used the experience as a sort of parable in a talk I gave in church today...
Hmmm... I wonder, are the roads and driving as crazy in Taiwan as they are in China? If that is the case, it's completely understandable that he got hit on his scooter! They drive like crazies there! Uh... That picture of your foot is absolutely awful! It's all swollen and yellow! MM MM MM...And 4 freaking dollars!!?? What the *!? That is nuts! They're basically giving health care away for free huh?
ReplyDeleteHey Dane can you tell my kids I'm getting married?
ReplyDeleteDane, remember when we were playing wiffle ball (or baseball inside of the church) and that kid threw his bat and hit us in the face?! Your accident just reminded me of that story. Then we got some old carrots and ice cream out of the church kitchen?
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you might be accident prone. See if there is some kind of Taiwanese healer that can break that voodoo spell. Or whatever.