Pharisaical Folly

I have one student who seems perpetually doomed, or blessed, depending upon how you look at it, to fall asleep in my class every single day. The poor little guy then has his chair taken from him by the secretaries and is forced to stand for the remainder of class in a feeble attempt to keep him awake and paying attention. Someone definitely needs to do something like that to me...and quickly...before the parents catch wind of their child's teacher snoozing away their $2,000 per semester education. I try to sneak the AC on, but I'm always getting caught and scolded because the school rules say that only if the temperature is above 82.4 degrees fahrenheit may the air be turned on. I swear that it has been at least 82.3 every single sweaty day this week. I think dozing off is my natural defense mechanism against drowning in my own perspiration. I will definitely try to lighten up on my nearly narcoleptic child, though, after experiencing first hand just how difficult it is to stay awake sometimes.

What's your favorite sleeping in school experience?

p.s. vicki...I did some research and it is in fact, 'cheer up sleepy jean.' Maybe subconsciously I was singing it the other way to try to enliven my lethargic self.

Karaoke Crush

KTV. Its an acronym that stands for Komplete Total Vantastic (at least that's what it means to me now after our Friday night extravaganza). I actually have no idea what KTV stands for, but its karaoke at its finest. We paid about 7 bucks to have all you can eat yummy Asian food and all you can sing songs for 3 hours! A screamin' deal if you ask me, which you didn't but I'll tell you anyway...it was a screamin' deal. Consequently I have had many bizarre songs in my head the last two days. I desperately long to dislodge many of them from my brain, but some of them won't leave. Here are the songs (not in order of appearance in my mind): 1. Can't fight the Moonlight...Probably one of my least favorite songs of the night, but every time I wake up I find myself standing on top of my bed holding my alarm clock as a microphone and shouting, "Its a magical feeling, so right, it will steal your heart tonight!" Leann Rimes never sounded worse. 2. Daydream Believer...This is a pleasant one and I plan on singing it to my students who inevitably fall asleep every single time we try to read in class..."Wake up sleepy Jean!" 3. Fergalicious (chief I thought of you on this one) Doing karaoke during the rapping sections of this song made me feel so gangster and a little scandolous as I sang about putting boys on 'rock, rock.' 4. Obladi, Oblada by the Beatles. I think I will make this my mantra for teaching from now on. 5. Can You Feel the Love Tonight...This one reminded me of my first real crush from 6th grade. Her name was Ulelia Gonzalez. The serendipitous nature of our relationship had us placed directly across from each other during choir class as we rehearsed this song. I remember staring at her the whole time I was singing my heart out. It was always awkward when we made eye contact, though. I love how songs can bring back so many memories and create completely new ones. Tonight for example, we were all jamming out on guitars, singing Blind Melon's 'No Rain.' It was magical. What's your favorite Karaoke song?

Friends of FengYuan

This is part of my Taiwanese family, Lillian on my right and Hu ma ma (that's what I call her---Hu is her last name). Lillian is going to Austria in a few days and I've been teaching her German as she teaches me Chinese. Once she leaves, her dad, Thomas and I will continue the language exchange...minus the German...in other words, I'll be teaching him English. We biked 18 miles (a ways for me) on this day and had a nice lunch. They've been extremely kind to me and have helped a lot with the transition to life here. It is also with them that I first tried pigs' ear.* Guten Appetit!

This is Vivian. She also celebrated the Lantern Festival with us. We ate oyster omelets together this week and she beat me at arcade basketball. Man, that ticked me off! I scored over three hundred points. My performance was Jordan-esque, or so I thought. Does anyone remember when Dennis Rodman played for the Bulls, by the way? I had a laughing attack a while back while thinking about 'the Worm.' Last I heard, he married himself shortly after kicking a camera man in the crotch. Just a side note. We also played the Asian version of Guitar Hero. They had these huge traditional drums that we banged on to drumming music. It was a blast and of course---she whooped on me there, too.


(From left to right) Holly, Derrick, me, Molly, and Jaimie...friends and fellow teachers. We celebrated the lantern festival by lighting candles, putting them in the lanterns, walking to a park, and burning the lanterns. Sometimes lanterns are released into the air with wishes written on them in hopes that the gods will read them and grant the wishes. What did I wish for? Greater arcade abilities, of course.





I thought it was interesting that this huge Christian church was in the middle of a college campus. I think I remember my friend saying it was over 100 years old...maybe.

This one's for all y'all back at the farm. My friend showed me the university dairy. I think they had about 50 cows or so. Happy cows come from California? Yeah right! Happy cows come from Taiwan (and the Hess Dairy). Most of their dairy products are shipped from New Zealand, actually, which makes them relatively expensive and so, although I will probably be nixed from the will for admitting this, I decided to try soy milk...and I liked it...sorry Dad...I still love you!

*I also tried pig intestines last night for the first time and they tasted like bacon.

A bad haircut and a stiff neck

The beautiful woman to my right is Gloria, a dear friend who shares in my love of outdoor activities. Its quite nice that she's also my co-worker so I get to see her frequently. We've had some good times this week traveling to various doctors and taking hikes. This is a photo taken on a mountain just outside of the city of Feng Yuan where I live. If I am feeling really ambitious (which has happened once since I've been here) I can ride my bike from home to the beginning of the hiking trails, hike to the top and ride back all in about 45 minutes. Its nice that a natural getaway is not too far out of reach.

Gloria's daughter, Vivian is one of Derrick's (my roommate) students. She, like Gloria is a very outgoing and vivacious soul. I have gotten to know Vivian pretty well, too because she's interested in learning Spanish. Anywho, yesterday as I was indulging in a combination haircut, massage, and shampoo (done all at the same place by the same person for the price you would pay for just a haircut in America---cool,eh?) Vivian waltzed in and asked me if I wanted to go play baseball. I was wondering how she knew I was there, when Derrick walked in and said, "Yeah, she just called the school and said Gloria told her that we were looking to do some exercise, so do you want to go?" I was stoked until she said they were leaving at 1:50 and I looked down to read my watch...1:45. I had only finished the massage and shampoo portion of my treatment. How was this going to work? Well, in severely broken Chinese, I told the lady, "I have a beautiful face, so it doesn't matter what my hair looks like." I think she took me and the others around her literally as we urged her to just hurry and finish. We were looking for speed, not precision. What did we get? Speed, not precision. Sure, my hair looks great when I comb it forward and disguise the jagged length discrepancies, but when I wish to wear it in my preffered spiked style, the discrepancies are painfully apparent. In the lady's defense, when I was asked what I wanted my hair to look like (at least I think that's what she was asking) I turned to a picture of Brad Pitt and gave her the thumbs up sign. I didn't really pay attention to what his hair looked like, but assumed that having the same haircut as Brad Pitt would somehow automatically double my good-looking points, not taking into account the fact that Hollywood's styles are rarely, if ever, truly desirable.

Massage, shampoo, haircut (some of them were cut and some were not)---check. We rushed out the door excited to get to the baseball. We met up with 3 of Vivian's friends and after a short train ride we arrived at the 'field' which turned out to be an arcade with batting cages and a pitching simulator. It felt good to spank a few homers a la Barry Bonds. Exercise?---highly unlikely. More fun than a barrel of monkeys? Definitely. Worth the expense of slaughtered hair? Certainly.

Did I mention that Vivian is one of Derrick's students? He and I continuously cracked up about the whole situation. Two male teachers, both in their mid twenties going out for a full day of arcades, shopping and dinner with a seventeen year old female student and her three seventeen year old female friends? It may sound a bit creepy to you, but it was done with Gloria's complete consent. It was a wonderful time...and if I'm honest, I think my neck is sore from all of the twisting during batting practice. I got my exercise after all.

This sign was in the penguin exhibit. Has anyone been studying the effects of Hubbub on penguins and can enlighten me as to why it is specifically harmful to them? Do other animals have a higher tolerance for Hubbub? Why haven't these penguins evolved to deal with Hubbub? What exactly is Hubbub? Please post your answers with links to any useful information. Thank you for your assistance.

Taipei Vakay

Chinese New Year provided us with a full week off of school, so we decided to travel north to Taipei, a city with a population of 16 million people. We figured that with that many people, something cool MUST be happening to celebrate the new year. I knew it was going to be a great trip when I saw the electric message board on the train wishing all the English speakers "Good Luck! and Good Healthy!" Its flattering that they make the attempt! Anywho, we started the trip off with a nice visit to the temple. It was great to put myself in the eternal frame of mind for a while. The temple always helps me with that.

We wandered over to the Chiang Kai-shek memorial where we had our pictures taken with dozens of different American-loving friends from all over Asia...mostly the Phillipines, Indonesia, and Korea. These folks repeatedly caught me watching the two girls in traditional dress and took the initiative to say hi to me. They, along with all other photograph buddies were unbeleivably friendly and excited to have a picture with Americans.

Taipei 101 is the tallest building in the world (although soon to be surpassed by a building in Dubai...that's no surprise...I mean the people made huge palm-tree-shaped islands for crying out loud.) The elevators are in the guiness book of world records for being the fastest in the world. We went from the 5th floor to the 89th floor in 37 seconds. I am usually more enthralled by natural beauty, but the ingenuity and human (God-given) genius presented in this building were captivating. Its amazing what knowledge will enable people to accomplish!


The National Palace Museum was a lot of fun and very educational. Why do those two have to be separated in my mind? Anywho, this lady was distributing information on a type of meditation called Falun Gong whose practicioners were being rounded up and killed in China. Supposedly they lacked a requisite permission slip that would allow them to gather in a group larger than 100 people. God Bless America!

We decided to have a "Who can get the cutest little kid picture?" contest. This was my first and, drum roll please, WINNING photo. What do you think? It was definitely a fun activity! I was extremely grateful for the language/cultural barriers in these situations, too. I could tell by the parents' body language that I was being a bit creepy, but since we couldn't communicate, I just fought through those awkward moments where we made eye contact and it was totally worth it!

This picture represents the most heartwarming portion of vacation. The three of us who remained in Taipei for an extra day were blessed to have the opportunity to help a young man with his Eagle Scout project. This little girl is an AIDS orphan who lives at this house called Harmony Homes Association. Many other children are in her situation and we were fortunate enough to be able to serve them. We worked on creating more outdoor playing space for them by adding sandboxes and preparing the roof for a bike race track and a hopscotch thingy. The best part, though, was when we just played with the kids. It reminded me of when I was in Ecuador where the kids are so many and the workers too few to render them the needed love and attention. It felt great to be able to brighten their day a bit!

The Taipei Zoo was awesome! Arwyn (maroon shirt) and Jaimie were my zoo buddies. We had fun trying to imitate or make up animal sounds for all the animals. What sound does a giraffe make? Try it. I met lots of cool people and was thus able to practice my German, Spanish and Chinese. Who would've thought, eh? God is a very creative being. The diversity and beauty in His creations were obvious to me during this visit.

One of my friends from the hostel we stayed in...Taiwanmex. It is called such because the guy who runs it is from mexico. I thought that was quite interesting. How does a Mexican end up running a business in Taiwan? Well, he met his wife when she visited Mexico. This is Diana from Singapore. She was like the hostel mom, always cutting up fruit for everyone, cleaning and making it feel like home. She was also my tour guide when we went to the Buddhist temple to pray on Chinese New Year's Eve. She explained all of the gods to me, what we were praying for and how prosperous i am going to be this next year. After all, it is the year of the cow (this could be your year, daddy!)
Mr. Yon from Korea...another hostel buddy. He was an entertaining soul with his sincere attempts at communication in English. He is an actor in Korea.

Taipei was great and I enjoyed getting to know so many different and unique people. Taiwan is touching my heart!

Fashion Freak

Yes, I did and will continue to wear this out in public. The general style here really suits me. I think I might be secretly Taiwanese, because they seem to do as I do when it comes to wearing clothes. It usually goes like this: MMM, What should I wear today? I really like my purple sweater, so I'll wear that. I also like my maroon corduroy pants. I'll put those on, too. My brown shoes are really comfortable. I HAVE to put those on. I really like the tie that guy gave me in Germany that he said was from his days in the army. Heil, put on the tie. I certainly can't waste the 1 dollar I spent on these sweet suspenders. They need to be used, so they find their way into my garb for the day....etc, etc, etc. One of the secretaries yesterday was wearing flaming purple tights underneath a brown plaid shirt dress thing with yellow shoes. Another one was wearing shin-high socks with tights, pink sandals, a shirt dress thing, and a nice jacket. I think they follow the same philosophy as I do...If you like it, wear it. It doesn't matter what you wear it with. (That's my friend derrick in the background)

Spaaaaa....AH!

Last night marked the second time we visited the local spa. Let me rephrase that...Last night marked the second time we visited the water wonderland replete with equipment to fill all your water massaging, spa soaking, steam room steaming, lap swimming, water slide sliding, ginger tea drinking, lavender and orange-scented hot tub soaking needs. Seriously, if you think it would be relaxing and good for your body and it has to do with water in any of its various forms, this place definitely has it...and lots of it!

How do you like the requisite swimcaps? A bright metallic blue one with gold and silver spots now calls my closet home. I think this may turn into a Saturday tradition for some of us. After spending the day biking close to 15 miles all while gaining approximately 1,500 feet in elevation, the spa sure felt like heaven.

The lady at the front desk probably thought so as well. I don't think I've ever been one to be ashamed of changing my clothes in front of other people at swimming places. Everyone has to do it, so it seems normal, right? Well, with absolutely no sense of trepidation I proceeded to disrobe and put on my swimsuit when my Taiwanese friend came running into the locker room to warn me about not doing so next time. He pointed to the corner of the room where the wall meets the ceiling where resided a small black globe. Yes, it was a camera. Supposedly they had a theft problem last week and decided to monitor the first compartment where people are drying their hair ONLY. I didn't know I was supposed to use a changing room! Let's hope the hoards of people gathered around the front desk didn't notice the prominently displayed security televisions with the not so prominently displayed naked white man!

This is one of the 4 orange farmers we met on our little bike adventure. I don't know if its because I told them that Dad is a dairy farmer and they then felt some sort of farmer connection, but all of them gave us tons of oranges. They were SO NICE! and patient with my attempts at Chinese. People seem to be very flattered that I am actually making an attempt and have been extremely helpful when I've practiced with them.


One of the casualties of the bike path. This grasshopper was literally the size of my face!


We explored this very ornate Buddhist Temple after descending from the monstrous hill we climbed. We felt we deserved a little break.


Aren't we a cute couple?

It was relaxing and refreshing to be out in the countryside with all of the farms and orchards. We stopped at a hot dog stand on the way home and the vendors suggested we take a few cloves of raw garlic to eat with our dogs. Mom, this is for you...I ate a whole one plain and then another one intermittently between bites of my hot dog. C'mon...you know you love it!